Should You Hug A Bully?

Image: all rights reserved to Scott Heemstra

Image: all rights reserved to Scott Heemstra

Hugging a bully can’t be easy. I mean, to remove judgement, the flesh and the actions that have surfaced from a bully, and simply see the tormented soul of a child, is a big ask. But an ask that is paramount in solving the bullying crises that plagues our schools and permeates into the workforce with emotionally underdeveloped adults still licking decades of bandaged wounds that just won’t heal because the infection hasn’t been cleared.

There are 70% of children in the UK being bullied, with 85% of children witnessing the bulling. These are daunting figures and likely to arouse frustration and anger against the bully. Why? Because in the actionable scenario of bully and victim, the bully is the villain. But what about outside of that actionable scenario? What about the environmental contributing factors that mould, define and hone the characteristics of that villain in action, victim in subject and agile human being in spirit?


Kalil GibranKalil Gibran, in his book The Prophet, wrote:

It is when your spirit goes wandering upon the wind, that you, alone and unguarded, commit a wrong unto others and therefore yourself. And for that wrong committed must you knock and wait a while unheeded at the gate of the blessed.

As a society we must take responsibility for who that child becomes by being accountable for our own actions. Understand how what we think, do and say affects others, particularly children. They are at the acute developmental stage of their lives, and therefore more susceptible to change, be it positive or negative, pending their environment and the people they are exposed to. That’s you, me, walking down the street, standing at a bus stop, sitting side by side on a train.

If we can remove judgement, see beyond the flesh and actions that have surfaced from a bully, and focus our energies on the soul of the child, we will stand a better chance at beating bullying. That means understanding the person, the make-up of their being and the spirit that was before their act. And if they need or want a hug, then hug them. After all they will form part of the society we share, the society that will reflect our own flaws.

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